Green Sprout – Atlanta Restaurant Review – Vegetarian – Chinese

I eat dead animals for breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between. I eat them awake, asleep, while driving – I’d eat them in the shower if I could get away with it. Few things are better than having your food look back at you, the entire head, roasted with a frozen grin; while someone saws off a slice of cheek and passes it around the table.

Once I went vegetarian for six months straight. You know what I ate? French fries, cake, bread, cheese pizza – everything that was neither meat, nor vegetable. Without that muscle, that fat, and sometimes the crunching bones, legumes just didn’t give me what I needed, what I craved. Vegetables don’t properly get stuck in my teeth. Muscle fibers hang on for dear life, wedging themselves between molars to avoid that final acid digestion. Sure I can fill my stomach with plants but I won’t be satisfied. I’m a freakin samurai and something needs to die in order for me to feel content. (Well… only when I lose my Zen.)

Green Sprout does not serve meat.

Sure, their menu ‘says’ beef, or chicken, or fish – but no. Green Sprout does not serve meat. So go ahead, order your orange chicken. Order your sesame beef. Order as if they actually do serve meat. Pretend like the fake tofu is going to give you that feeling of dead animal. Pretend like the texture is going to come close, as if tofu could ever mimic meat from the best rice fed cows drunk on saki.

Give up. Make your vegetarian girlfriend happy for once and actually go to a ‘vegetarian’ restaurant. Oh, when the food arrives after a short wait, take that bite. Push the vegetables aside and go for that fake meat. Come on, it can’t touch the real stuff, why even pretend? Just get it over with. Pop one of those chik-pattie wannabes into your mouth and move on.

Okay, I’ll admit it, the fake meat is pretty good here. It’s so good that it doesn’t even taste like meat. In fact, considering that many vegetarians are vegetarian not for ethical reasons, but because they just don’t like the taste and texture of meat, this is perfect – for them. Sure it’s not kobe beef, or free range fowl, or Alaskan wild salmon, but that’s okay. We’re giving the wildlife a break today.

Come here often enough and they’ll remember you. Something Green Sprout has over Top Spice and Ru-Sans (the other two restaurants above and next door) is that the people here will get to know you if give them a chance, if you want to know them. Overhearing the server talk to the other tables, half of the menu should be off limits. Stick with the basics. Stick with stuff you’ll find at nearly every other regular chinese restaurant. The fake meat here is made up of different types of tofu, prepared in several ways using simple tricks such as freezing, and drying and switching with pork (in my dreams). Giving it less of a tofu texture and more of a… meat substitute texture.

Green Sprout is an odd restaurant to me. I understand what they’re doing, but why do it? I just don’t get it. But don’t get me wrong, the food here is good, I just wish it had been something that could fight back. Pigs can fight back right? Chickens? Salmon? Sure they can. Um. Nevermind.

Review Summary: 4.2 out of 5

Green Sprout [http://markrox.net/eatallday]

1529 Piedmont Ave

Atlanta, GA, 30324

(404) 874-7373